Tis the Season
For all of the ways the season goes

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It's the week of Christmas, entering the end-of-year bliss, chaos, and stress that comes with the holiday season. Work demands end-of-year goals to achieve with urgency, last-minute gifts need to be ordered stat, travel mayhem begins, and remember to have a great time! Make the holiday chaos look effortless and fun, and we'll be on our merry way- right?! Some may feel this pressure, while others may feel rather dull this season. Maybe it doesn't feel special, and you almost forget it is the holiday season. This bland feeling makes holiday chaos seem at least exciting, breaking out of the mundane cold weather blues. We all know the date on the calendar and have differing experiences surrounding the meaning and feelings of these days.

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According to Webster, "dialectic means the art of investigating or discussing the truth of opinions." In therapy terms, dialectic means holding varying thoughts and emotions that may contradict one another. The holiday season highlights complex dualities of emotions:

Togetherness highlights loss.

Moments of joy collide with moments of sadness.

Experiencing envy followed by gratitude.

Contentment crashes with dissatisfaction and wanting more.

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We're riding a rollercoaster of emotions while seeking steady ground. Seeking a singular truth hinders emotional growth. Acknowledging our varying emotional states nurtures empathy for self and others. Giving yourself the gift of understanding makes room for compassion. If compassion is universal, it has to include you.

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Where to Begin? Often people ask, "How do I even begin?" Developing vocabulary for the emotional landscape can feel like learning to speak a new language. Here are check-in questions to ask yourself:

• What thoughts am I noticing? Taking an observational standpoint on our internal world gives us data. Often, we get caught up in thinking without realizing it. Observing thoughts can start with a phrase such as, "I'm noticing the thought..." you know this one "The story I'm telling myself is..." simply labeling "This is a thought." Labeling a thought gives space to no longer judge yourself for thinking, getting caught up in thoughts as truth, and allows room for more nuanced information.
• What am I physically feeling? Therapists ask clients, "Where do you feel that in your body?" so often that it has become a common joke online. Yet, it's a valuable question. You can always come back to physical sensations such as how fast your heart is beating, visually note the scene surrounding you, the temperature of the room, or even the physical sensation of typing or holding a pen. It's a simple question that encourages physical awareness.
• What would make today great? This question reframes, "What do I need?" Sometimes, we can feel daunted by asking what we need, given it could be anything from a nap to booking a trip across the pond. Thinking about how you can alter your day gives you autonomy, immediate gratification, and a specific game plan for what will make your day.

May your days be merry and bright. Wishing you the gifts of connection, rest, and joy this holiday season.

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Happy Holidays,

Brittani